Maya Moo – to say that she was unique would be to completely underestimate the quirks that made Maya who she was. She could be charming yet tempestuous. Intelligent yet forgetful. But you always knew with Maya Moo that she would always take you on a ride at the edges of emotion. There was never a dull moment when Maya Moo was around. And all of this was wrapped in a nature of inherent kindness and exceptional love, the capacity for which Maya knew no bounds.
Growing up Maya was always a happy child. Always quick with a smile and a giggle she was a bundle of unbridled joy. Always playing with the dogs while blaring a selection of Top 40 hits from her bedroom, sneaking spoonfuls of Nutella and telling me what friends of mine she found “cute” that week. And as she got older her learning difficulties collided with hormones to create the wonderful roller coaster that was Maya Moo. A girl who could bring you to tears with pure love and kindness, then swing into an outburst that would impress a hostile wharfie. And it is some of these outbursts that have created the most enduring and surprisingly loving memories.
There is one outburst in particular that will always stick in my mind. Another seemingly innocuous midweek family dinner of spaghetti bolognese, carefully prepared by my partner at the time, was being eaten in front of the TV. But Maya Moo was having an off night – perhaps the frustration of a lack of recent Garth Brooks song releases was playing on her mind – and as thanks for the nice dinner she decided to meet the offering with a growl of “yoooo bitch – why don’t you just go back downstairs”. To which my partner not surprisingly responded with “well Maya if you feel that way I don’t think you should eat the food I’ve prepared”. This then escalated into a tug of war over the plate which ended with both sides letting go simultaneously, and a steaming plate of spaghetti Bolognese careering into mum’s head, with half of it spilling onto the dog’s backs. And so this was the scene – my sister and partner in an argument in the middle of the lounge room. My mum sitting down on the lounge, bleeding from a head wound from a stray plate while covered in spaghetti bolognese and two dogs chasing and barking at each other as they tried to eat the remnants of a family meal off each other’s backs. I can still close my eyes and see that scene of chaos and for some reason it makes me smile. The rollercoaster of Maya and the situations she could help create were something to behold.
But as with all Maya storms, once they settled you would always get a huge hug and a beautiful sorry from Maya Moo. The love she displayed with her contrition almost always made the storms worthwhile. Unless of course Maya felt justified in scale of her outburst – then you would get one of her infamous ‘sorry there I said it’ apologies. An apology delivered to satisfy mums demands but leaving the recipient in no doubt in the lack of genuine remorse. When you received one of these all you could do was smile at Maya’s stubborn resilience.
One of the main things I will always take with me from Maya was just the sheer breadth and unusualness in her tastes, whether that be music or man crushes. For her music, around a core of Top 40 hits 5yrs out of date would swing anything from Nana Mouskouri to Garth Brooks to a soundtrack of Sounds of the Forest. To see a Maya shopping bag after a trip to Brashs was to peer into a world that spanned everything and anything and was always a mind bending sight to behold. And in terms of her preference for man crushes, again Maya had preferences that could only be described as unusual. For her there was no Bruce Samazan or Simon Baker Denny posters in her room, but instead a professed intense crush for the journalist Stan Grant. While many may respect Stan’s journalistic endeavours I don’t think he has ever knocked on the door of the top 100 ‘Sexiest Men Alive’. This despite Maya’s incessant letter writing.
Another beautiful memory I’ll take of Maya is that there was never any room for subtlety – you always knew exactly where you stood. Whether you were a lady who offended her in the change rooms of Best and Less who found herself locked in a cubicle, to a taxi driving family friend who would find Maya plonked in his front seat asking for a free lift home, Maya was never one to hedge around expressing what she wanted. But the best example that I will always remember of Maya’s open requests of what she wanted was around swimming in neighbours pools. We grew up in the tight knit cul-de-sac of Euroa Place and a couple of neighbours had pools. So come a hot summer’s day invariably the number of children from “pool-less” homes who would just happen to find themselves wandering over for a visit would escalate. I remember it well, loitering around the back gate of the Farnsworth house, casually “hanging out” and hoping against hope that you would hear “oh Trent, it’s a hot day – would you like to come in for a swim” to which you’d casually try and answer “oh ok, if you don’t mind” before sprinting home to get your swimmers and a towel. But this approach was lost on Maya. Maya would get kitted up in full swimming gear, and in nothing but a swimming costume and with a towel draped over her shoulder she would just go and sit outside the pool fence gate. This made her very hard to ignore. But hats off to her – this “obvious” approach normally always got a result.
Despite some learning difficulties, one of the most remarkable aspects of Maya was her incredible memory…….. when she wanted to. If you wanted to know what Track 4 of “Smash Hits 89” was, Maya was your go to person. Likewise if you wanted to know what bus to catch from Kinsgwood Rd to get to Hurstville by 10am on a Wednesday morning. Or even if you were curious about who the current State Education Minister was. Her capacity to recall what appeared to be innocuous facts was always incredibly surprising and impressive. To do Maya the justice she deserves, Track 4 of Smash Hits 89 was Neneh Cherry’s Buffalo Stance, you’d be best to catch the 9.14am bus from the cnr or Warilda Ave and Kinsgwood Rd to make the train to Hurstville for a 10am arrival and the State Education Minister is Adrian Piccoli. But coupled with this incredible memory was an innate ability to forget the simple things she didn’t want to know. While naming all political leaders was well within Maya’s realm, the ability to remember to get the clothes off the line when she got home from school could never quite stick. The famous Maya refrain of “oh sorry, I forgot, I’m kind of tired” was always her favourite justification.
And now she is gone – and to be honest I haven’t even begun to get my head around it yet. None of us have. It is just this hole that you can’t see ever being filled. There’s just an ache tinged with guilt that as you get busy with your own family you didn’t spend enough time with your sister. It is always a “next weekend I’ll visit” before that weekend invariably gets filled and leaks away with mundane chores. You always think there are endless weekends to catch up but this has been a brutal lesson that this is not always the case. So please, spend time with and wrap your arms around your friends and family while you can because you never know when that opportunity may end.
To my dear mum who dedicated so much of her life to caring for Maya and helping her develop and adjust as best she can, my heart aches for you. No mother should have to deal with the loss of a child and I hope there is some comfort for you in all of the love and support that is here today for Maya. The response to Maya’s passing has truly been remarkable and as a family we cannot thank you all enough.
To Sylvanvale, what you dedicate yourselves to, what you did for Maya and for us as a family I cannot even begin to comprehend or put into words. Your caring and support for Maya, and helping her cope and develop in a world that was at times confusing and frustrating for her is something that our thanks can never really cover. And as a family you allowed us to breathe – to put our heads up and start to deal with a situation that at times threw up circumstances that were far beyond our capabilities. You are a group of truly remarkable people and I am thankful that there are people like you that dedicate your lives to assisting families like ours. And to Hoong in particular who spent so much time with Maya, and showed her so much care and devotion. Maya absolutely adored you and we will always, always be in your debt.
So goodbye Maya Moo. Nutella won’t taste the same. Having a lack of decaf coffee in the house won’t hold the same apprehension. Stan Grants news reports will just seem bland. And Nana Mouskouri’s music will just sound hollow. We love you, and miss you, and always will.
Adam quote
“May the wind always be at your back, and the sun upon your face. And may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars”
smallthoughts 